Family

‘You’re on your own here Emily. But you’re not really on your own. You have a big family in Uganda. You have lots of children. You’re like a mother and a father – here, in Uganda, if a child is hungry, they will ask their mother. If a child needs books or something for school, they will ask their father. You are both. I hope you never feel lonely’

This was what my friend Muhumuza told me on the way to see Princess on Saturday afternoon. It was the beginning of a special afternoon which I don’t think I’ll ever forget.

I haven’t written a blog post in a while. This one comes with no photographs – I didn’t have my camera with me on Saturday, and there had been no power all weekend so my phone had died. It was actually quite a blessing, as I enjoyed every single second of the afternoon without thinking about photos!

The above quoted paragraph sums up so much of what is beautiful about this culture.  Here, ‘family’ is rarely a group of blood relations. Rather it is comprised of people who come together through want, circumstance or need, but always in love and acceptance. Often what brings people together is the tragic loss of a parent, leaving children orphaned. Sometimes it’s because a child is abandoned and someone picks them up from the roadside. Sometimes it’s because parents are forced to work away and leave their children with neighbours or elderly women in the village. Compassion in abundance. These days in Uganda, there is simply not enough food. But there is always room for one, or two, or three more to join the family.

So, Saturday afternoon started with a visit to Princess (see previous blog post). We visit her and her family twice a week, always taking with us milk, bread, and either ‘mukene’ (small dried fish), avocados or groundnuts (a great source of protein).

For the first time ever, when we arrived at the home, Princess ran up to me with her arms open wide. As usual, Princess’ grandmother immediately lit her charcoal stove to boil the milk to make tea for the family. The four youngest children were at home, and demolished the milk tea and bread as soon as it was all ready. I said naively, ‘wow, they must have been hungry!!’ As it turns out, eating tea and bread at 4pm on Saturday afternoon was the first time they had eaten or drunk anything since Friday afternoon. If you’re reading this, can you imagine your children not eating for 24 hours? *There is famine in Uganda at the moment, which is worst in the east and north of the country, but here in the west, families are really suffering due to poor harvests and high food prices* I looked at the children, the two youngest literally falling asleep where they were sitting because their bellies finally had something in them, and probably for the millionth time since moving here to Uganda, I wondered how life can be so different for our children across the world. Being fussy here? Not an option. Complaining of hunger? Not an option when there is literally no food. Meals out? Not an option. Going for 24 hours with no food, but still having to dig, collect firewood and clean the compound? Yep, that’s what Princess and her family did on Saturday.

Following the tea and bread, Princess was in a GREAT mood. We all played games, and I even taught Princess to do ‘round and round the garden, like a teddy bear…’ with the other children. It caused her to do the most heartwarming belly laughs I’ve ever heard from her! The children then brought out the family photo album for me to look at. Princess smiled and pointed and clapped as she saw people she recognized. My heart burst to see this gorgeous little girl truly enjoying her life and her family in those moments. She wasn’t with her Mum, or Dad, but she was with people she knows and trusts. In the midst of hunger, poverty and her inability to hear, Princess laughed and clapped and danced.

After Princess’, Muhumuza and I proceeded to see Elias, one of the street boys. Last Wednesday, the boys broke up for their May holidays. Elias came from school with a horribly swollen and hot knee, caused by an infection. We took him to the clinic where he got treatment and medication, and we then took him home. I wanted to check on him on Saturday just to see how he was doing. Elias is a double orphan and lives with his grandmother who is 100 years old! She is now practically bed bound but still, when we arrived she managed to get up and come out to greet us with a massive hug. She was telling us that she thinks her days on this earth are now few, and that most of her worries are about Elias and who will look after him when she has gone ‘home’ (in her own words). She wanted our assurance that Elias would never be left alone. I promised her that I do will everything to ensure that Elias always has a place to call home, and people to call family. As long as he needs me, I will be here for him. And even when he doesn’t need me anymore, I will still be here.

Family. These stubborn, lively, frustrating, lovely boys who burst into my life a year ago who I now can’t imagine life without. They gave me a purpose that I’ve never known before, but also a responsibility that I’ve never had and which still scares me up to now! Daily, they show me that family extends beyond who we are related to, but it’s who we choose and who chooses us, even in the most crazy, unexpected circumstances!

From Elias we came back to town and I wanted to quickly pop in to see one of the families which I am supporting. This family is Mum and her five children. Over the past few months I have grown so close to them, and often spend evenings just hanging out with them, laughing, playing and dancing until it’s literally pitch black darkness! The youngest girl in the family, Prisca, is sponsored by someone from my home church in Chiswick. She was abandoned on the roadside when she was a baby and picked up by an amazingly kind and humble lady, Nalongo, who was widowed and already supporting her four children on her own. Prisca is now six years old and so loved. She is also incredibly bright. I want to give her all the chances to fulfill her academic potential, so this term she moved to a really good school in town.

When I arrived at their home, Prisca literally flew at me with her report in her hand, delighted to show me that she got A’s across every subject and came in the top tier of her class. For the third time that afternoon, I could have cried. This beautiful, excited girl who has been given a small chance and is completely flourishing and reaching her potential as a result. Prisca doesn’t even know her biological family but she clearly completely adores the brothers, sister and Mum that she’s had since she was a baby.

By this time it was like 7pm, and I was pretty exhausted. As I was leaving, Prisca said ‘thank you Aunt Emily. May God bless you.’

Boy… do I feel blessed. My family here in Uganda is what you may call ‘dysfunctional’. In my wildest dreams I could never have imagined that I would be blessed with knowing such wonderful, kind, inspirational people here. Princess, the boys and Prisca’s family are just some of the people I see as my extended family now. People I chose out of love and circumstance. People who have chosen me and accepted me. People who I never knew I needed, but who I now couldn’t do life without.

Family is the biggest blessing. Keep your doors and your hearts open for whoever God may bring to join yours!

With love from Rukungiri x