It’s been a rollercoaster of a month!
Firstly, to all who have prayed, encouraged, donated money… thank you.
When I first wrote about our 7 dear boys, they had been sleeping in a bush, scouring rubbish dumps for food, sniffing gum, stealing, fighting and doing pretty much whatever they had to do to survive. They are now sleeping with shelter and a blanket, eating regularly, washing themselves and their clothes daily, and are due to start lessons and some rehabilitation work next week, to prepare and assess them for school in June.
This month has been as much about me learning some huge lessons, as it has been life changing for the boys! Here are just some of them.
Progress can be slow, painful, frustrating and unseen, but every small step is actually a huge victory.
Some days with the boys, I come away thinking, ‘Wow, they’ve changed! They’ve been great today!’ Then the following day, I find that they have been sniffing gum, they’ve fought with one another or they’ve caused problems for someone in town (or often all in the same day!) and I am so discouraged and disappointed. I daily have to remind myself that some of these boys have spent YEARS on the streets. How can I expect to come, give them a bit of shelter and food, and expect them to completely transform into angelic, problem-free young men overnight? As the days go on, I am recognizing more and more that I must put my own grand expectations to one side, and find joy and hope in small, small changes, such as how they now play so gently with a young toddler, Joel who is their ‘neighbour’, or how they now wash their plates after eating with no complaint, or how they hug me and say ‘thank you’.
Thank God for family; they are your biggest blessing.
This month, we have spent many hours ‘in the field’, tracing the boys families, preparing reports on each boy about why they came to the streets, their ‘home’ situation etc, to give to the District Office. It has been so emotional, and so frustrating (mainly for me because of the language barrier in the villages, meaning I’ve not understood many of the discussions)!
Most of the boys have a family (of some shape or form). But their stories broke me.
One of the boys comes from a home where there is a very elderly grandmother, solely responsible for 8 grandchildren (all of whom are double-orphans). At 10-11 years old, he was forced, by default, to become the ‘head of the house’, with the expectation that he should be providing for all 7 of his brothers, sisters and cousins. So, he ran away. He was scared, he couldn’t take the responsibility so he left. Last week, when we took him back to his family, he embraced them one by one, picking up his younger siblings. It was a beautiful moment to see the ‘prodigal son’ returning and being welcomed with open arms. I simply could not get my head around why he would choose the street over this loving family… my guess is pressure, expectation, unwilling to be responsible for all these little lives, with him still being a child himself.
Another of the boys lived with his father just outside of Rukungiri town. However, his father is a huge alcoholic, used to beat him up and send him out of the house every night to fend for himself. As soon as we saw the father, this sweet young boy broke down in tears. As we left, he became completely emotionally withdrawn. Again, I could not fathom the amount of emotional torment he has been through in his young life.
The final story is of brothers. Their father is also a town-dweller and is ‘mad’. We went to trace the family but alas… there is no family. We couldn’t find ANYONE. All we found was an elderly lady who had once cared for them for a year but they became too much for her to handle so they went back to the streets. I was like ‘what?! Two boys of 11/13 with no one? Literally no one? Literally no home?!’ Mehn.
But the beautiful thing is that family doesn’t have to mean that you’re blood related. Family can be a place where you are accepted and loved. These boys have found family with each other and I am so aware that it’s precious to them, and I must always work to make sure that they keep their friendships and celebrate each other into the future.
Friends if you’re reading, please love your children extra hard tonight. Love your parents extra hard tonight. Love your siblings extra hard tonight.
Be wise, be discerning.
Since starting with the boys last month, many local people have come to me with ‘proposals’ of amazing schools for street kids, of homes, of centers. Many people now want to be involved, but are telling me ‘don’t trust this other person’ ‘this person only wants money’ etc. It’s so hard and so frustrating, because on one level I’m like great, people around town want to help in various ways, but on another level it’s so hard to know their true intentions for getting involved.
I’m praying hard for a discerning and wise heart, to know when to take advice, to know when to take help, and to know when to say ‘thanks, but no thanks’.
I also don’t want to be appearing to have the ‘white savior complex’, coming in to ‘save the boys’ and assuming that I know best and don’t need the support of local folk. That’s absolutely not true. I’m so out of my comfort zone and I just don’t know what the best thing to do is! Normally, I only like to make a decision if I am sure it’s the right and best one. With these boys, so many people are coming with different suggestions and offers, and I feel like I’m drowning in a sea of uncertainty – not a place I like to be in at all!
My God
Above all, in this situation, I am learning huge lessons about my Father and His love for me.
Initially, I despaired at the boys’ behavior and I could not understand it. They now have food, so why are they still sniffing gum? We have told them that they can go to school if they show good behavior, yet they continue to have bad behavior (despite wanting to go to school!!)
And yet. How they treat me is exactly how I (we) so often treat God – running away from Him even when He gives us good things, doing exactly what He tells us not to do (for our own good!). After 25 years, I am finally truly learning and understanding what GOD’S UNCONDITIONAL LOVE means. I am rubbish, I am broken, and I mess up ALL THE TIME. But God loves me and God pursues me and God won’t give up on me. I was speaking to a lady in town yesterday who said ‘why are you helping them, they chose this life, they chose to run away’. Do we not do that in the eyes of God EVERY, SINGLE DAY?! Do we not chose a life in which we mess up, we make mistakes, we do bad things? Does God give up on us? No!
It’s so hard sometimes to keep loving the boys, to persist in patience, to hold onto hope when it seems like there are far too many issues and challenges for any real, lasting good to come out of this situation. Do they deserve to be helped and supported more than the other hundreds of good, kind children in Rukungiri who also need support? No. Do I deserve God’s love more than anyone else? No. It’s called GRACE and GRACE is teaching me what undeserved love should look like.
Every time I want to give up on these boys, I remember who they are in the eyes of God. I think about how loved they are, how loved I am, with all our disobedience and all our running away. I have to pursue them because that’s what my God is doing for me, and for them.
Friends, thank you for all the love and prayers. Please keep praying. This month the boys will begin ‘school’ – learning basic English with two wonderful teachers who are giving up their holidays to teach them. They will also be doing some counseling and assessing which boys may be ready to begin school in June. This means that in a few weeks I may be looking for some sponsors to get these boys in school. FYI, this sponsorship may not be an easy journey. The boys may well run away from school, they may come back to the streets. The journey is just beginning and it will certainly be uphill, but I’m asking you to consider journeying with these boys so that in years to come, they have a testimony filled with love and relationship and people who refused to give up on them.
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